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Biography

Going down brown

The Brown TornadoSt. Pauli Dangerousli, a.k.a. The Bastard of Bed-Sty, a.k.a. The Janitor, a.k.a. The Rascal from Ridgewood, a.k.a Eaglebird Humperdink, et. al., is cleaning house, so to speak. The man with 1000 colorful names is narrowing it all down to… brown.
 
Ladies of the Evening and Men of Ill Repute, we give you The Brown Tornado. Yes, it’s official -- we’re all down with the Brown. So from here on out, Pauli - the category five of flailing feet, the vicious vortex of villainous verisimilitude, the rum-running, swath-cutting, skin-slapper will be known henceforth as simply The Brown Tornado.
 
To celebrate this most murky event, we’ll be downing and drowning in brown liquor like our grandfathers at Sue's Sunset House on July 17th. Wear something brown and you just might be earning extra brownie points from The Luscious Lushes, who return in full splendor to tempt revellers off their asses and on to the dance floor -- to get brown and get down!
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Yo Ho Ho
and a Case o' Captain Morgan

He’s the 17th man on the dead man’s chest, the guy who puts the “high” in the high seas, the master of mayhem whose bucket-banging percussive panache would make Keith Moon proud and turn Neil Peart green with seasick and envy. Yes, friends, we speak of the one and only St. Pauli Dangerously, aka The Brown Tornado.

St. Pauli on the


Pauli is rumored to be the direct descendant of one Edward Teach, best known to history as Blackbeard the Pirate. It’s been reported that The Tornado (you can call him Brownbeard) has been operating in the North Atlantic, the Caribbean and has even been sighted on the Hudson River and Lake Oscawana.  A Gemini, sporting the rare two dark sides, The Tornado is also rumored to have a lucrative consulting position with the Somalis. Fathers, hide your daughter’s booty!  

 St. Pauli on the


Recent photographic evidence suggests that when he’s not slamming the skins with the LGC, that he’s been known to go aloft on his square-rigged ship “Queen Anne’s Revenge Again.” This photo courtesy of an anonymous officer serving on His Majesty’s ship “Doubtful.”

St. Pauli on the

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