Ho, Ho, Ho - In You Go!
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Tommy's Birthday Blowout
May Hem
04/25/11 09:21 Filed in: Event | Performance
DRUNK. BLIND.
Let’s start with DRUNK.
Is alcohol an aphrodisiac? To answer that you also have to ask yourselves the burning questions: Do chickens have lips? Do bears shit in the woods? You bet your bear ass, it is! It loosens the lips and tongue -- two key components in the exotic, intoxicating dance routine known to Nat Geo fans as “mating.” It has been observed by scientists and barflies alike that two people with synergistic levels of inebriation (and a Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails sexy show soundtrack) will achieve libation-induced sexual liberation within a matter of three songs into any given LGC set list.
However, as the Dead Kennedy’s so thoughtfully warned us, it is possible to go overboard on the stuff and wind up with your timber pointing south -- or if you’re a woman, occasionally passed out on the men’s room floor. So, to ensure that your wood points north, may we suggest that you maintain safe levels of looseness next Friday, March 25th when the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails once again descend upon the Northwood Inn in Mahopac and fling their fantastic pheromones all over the joint. No protection needed. Dance dangerously!
Now to BLIND.
Which fiery rebel-rouser had us all seeing red when she introduced a certain LGC face to a piece of broken glass? Sources say she’s done some crazy shit before, but this time...
Is alcohol an aphrodisiac? To answer that you also have to ask yourselves the burning questions: Do chickens have lips? Do bears shit in the woods? You bet your bear ass, it is! It loosens the lips and tongue -- two key components in the exotic, intoxicating dance routine known to Nat Geo fans as “mating.” It has been observed by scientists and barflies alike that two people with synergistic levels of inebriation (and a Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails sexy show soundtrack) will achieve libation-induced sexual liberation within a matter of three songs into any given LGC set list.
However, as the Dead Kennedy’s so thoughtfully warned us, it is possible to go overboard on the stuff and wind up with your timber pointing south -- or if you’re a woman, occasionally passed out on the men’s room floor. So, to ensure that your wood points north, may we suggest that you maintain safe levels of looseness next Friday, March 25th when the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails once again descend upon the Northwood Inn in Mahopac and fling their fantastic pheromones all over the joint. No protection needed. Dance dangerously!Now to BLIND.
Which fiery rebel-rouser had us all seeing red when she introduced a certain LGC face to a piece of broken glass? Sources say she’s done some crazy shit before, but this time...
End of Daze
01/24/11 20:47 Filed in: Performance | Bar
It’s a New Year, and while the birds are dropping and the fish are floating, The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails have every reason to believe that the world will not end by this weekend. That’s why we’re stickin' to our love guns and not canceling our debut show Saturday night at Katie Mac’s neighborhood watering hole in Mt. Kisco. That’s right, we’re saying F-U to Nostradamus and the Mayan Calendar and all those doomsday-sayers who insist that 2011 is really 2012 due to a clerical error, and it doesn’t matter because when the shit goes down... fire, flood and famine, we’ll still be jammin' -- playing everybody’s favorite 60’s and 70’s garage/stadium rock, albeit as your faces melt and hair goes up in flames. Burn, baby, burn!LGC Trivia Question: Which bandmember NEARLY ran over his dead neighbor lying frozen in the street on the way to last Friday’s Sue’s Sunset show?
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