2007
The Toast of Christmas Past
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
If you somehow missed the LGC at The Sunset House on Friday, you are almost certain to be rewarded Christmas morn with a lump of coal-sized kidney stone. The merriment that occured was legendary. Once again The Luscious Lushes stole the show -- dolled up as delectible, candy-coated, devil daughters of Vixen.
All eyes were on Plushie, Slushie, and Crushie as bar patrons of both sexes strained to feel the fur trim the table dancers had to offer.
The Band, of course churned out electric rock like Santa’s Workshop on a three week meth bender.
Holiday highlights included a molten version of "Run Run Rudolph" and a Ventures medley featuring our own 
Sound Manaschevitz Dickie Mellonball on bass. A full night of sonic erotica!
Also, special thanks to Shopkeeper Sue for whipping up the best Espresso Martinis this side of the North Pole. To Diamond Dirk (The Legend) Pidgeon for extra muscle and continued support. To smarmy agent Jeff Valley and (that was) Cole for the love and hustle, and to all our new and old friends who shook the room like a freakin’ snow globe.
Now on to sleep mode. (Translation - sleep, rehab, learning new songs) We’ll be back at The Sunset House January 18th, 2008. Until then, drink up, lie down and keep checkin’ back for updates.
Rumor of the Week - Someone’s ex got Blitzened and headed south to the wrong pole.
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Drink the Grog. Burn the Log.
The Cocktails have been bad. Real bad. They’ve played great, yes, but they’ve been extra naughty. Particularly singer Stewed Driver, who’s particular brand of badness is illegal in fourteen states. Also on the naughty list is drummer St. Pauli Dangerously, aka The Brown Tornado -- who’s blown around nothing but evil wind for months. Consequently, the only thing Santa’s dropping on us this year is a frozen turd.
All of which means, we need your love. Desperately. Come out to the Sunset House in Peekskill on December 21st and show us your love. Feel free to show us everything else, too. Fa-la-la-la-la!
It’s the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails last show of 2007 and we’re going out with a bang -- a full-on yuletide garage rock thrill ride complete with the solid gold stylings of Santa’s sexiest little helpers -- the always lap-warming Luscious Lushes. Be there!
All of which means, we need your love. Desperately. Come out to the Sunset House in Peekskill on December 21st and show us your love. Feel free to show us everything else, too. Fa-la-la-la-la!
It’s the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails last show of 2007 and we’re going out with a bang -- a full-on yuletide garage rock thrill ride complete with the solid gold stylings of Santa’s sexiest little helpers -- the always lap-warming Luscious Lushes. Be there!
Scheissenweiss and Spaetzlehoff
12/03/07 11:54 Filed in: Event | Performance
The German American Club show was one for the record books. Never before has the band been so showered in delicious beer and fine dinery! (For the record: we have been showered in beer before, but it was quite literally -- and probably Bud Light.) Thanks again to Kathy, who surprised the living crap outta B-boy Paul and to all our new friends and fans. Especially the ones in the fourth grade.
Next up - our sonic cup of rock runneth over in Connecticut this Friday at Hot Shots in Newtown!
Filthy Pilgrims, Sexy Squaws
Thanksgiving came six days early as the LGC Plymouth-rocked The Sunset House this past Friday eve. Not only was there a cornucopia of Cocktail loyalists dancing their collective asses off, but a whole new crop of pie-eyed pioneers came out to witness the spectacle, too.
Thanks of course to everyone, but the big Thanksgiving Drumstick of Love goes out to Plushie, Slushie and Crushie Lush, whose hips (and skimpy outfits) brought fire from the sky and whipped up a gravy none will soon forget.
And check out the gallery of new photos from the gig! (More Lush-shots and even some of the band!)
Next up - private party on December 1st at Putnam Valley's German American Club and then Hot Shots in Newtown, CT on December 7th - a day which will live in infamy.
Rumor of the week - St. Pauli Dangerously's EMT training saved his own ass Friday night....
Seafaring Tragedy
(show goes on)
In case you hadn’t heard, our own Otto Wino met with an unfortunate fishing accident last weekend off the coast of Nova Scotia. Seems the great white he was trying to gaff whipped around and tore off a substantial chunk of Otto’s foot before escaping into the dark depths. 
Unfazed, Otto cauterized the wound with a hot knife and a fifth of overproof Jamaican rum. The accident was unfortunate, but the rum sacrifice a true tragedy.
Nevertheless, this Friday’s gig at Peekskill’s Sunset House will go on despite Otto’s hobbled state. Although he has vowed to rock in an upright position, the band is adamant that he not bleed to death (on stage anyway) and may force him to rock seated. Come witness this new unravelling drama, plus the glory and the power of all that is LGC, and for God’s sake, please help Otto carry something at some point during the night.
Gore Gets Gorgeous!
It’s our favorite time of year again: When terror turns tacky, lawn art celebrates death and dismemberment, sugar-stoned kids in serial killer costumes roam the streets, and gore gets gorgeous! Halloween, baby! A great excuse to dress up and down some deadly grog before heading out with a dozen rotten eggs and some toilet paper. Normally the LGC does Halloween to death with a mega-party, but this year we’re laying low and staying home, stuffing razor blades into apples. (Translation: learning new songs.)
Fear not - we’re saving it all up for the Sunset gig on Friday, November 16th. In the meantime, here’s some embarrassing shots from last year’s Halloween Hootenanny at the legendary Sand Bar (R.I.P.). Turning tricks and getting treats… smell my feet!
RUMOR OF THE WEEK – Dickie Mellonball was actually born Micqui Mellonball, a 9 pound 8 ounce bouncing baby Mexican girl. 
Rumor no more!
After submission of the results of our latest physicals, the LGC is confirmed for our Connecticut debut at the
in Newtown on December 7th!
Hot Shots on 130 Mt Pleasant Rd.
Raucus Roll!
If you missed Chris’s B-Day bash at Seany B’s in Millbrook, you missed an unforgettable night (which is weird, because I forget most of it). Scraps of memory include blurry visions of extreme rock ‘n roll excess, free-flowing booze, gifts, cameras, lesbian kisses and -- courtesy of Arlene (Her Highness of Master-Baking) -- a Lifesize Gorgeous Dragon cake that tried to eat ME. Oh, and viciously good sets from Chris’s cherry-picked band of go-to gunslingers, as well as the rode-hard-and-put-away-wet real fuckin’ deal, Steel Rodeo.The LG Cocktails, of course,
burned like a thousand suns until they flamed out in a sonic supernova of monitorless magma that somehow, but not unexpectedly, included Dino.Special thanks to Johnny and Thea from JV Productions for getting us lubed up at the pre-party party and to Plushie and Gary for putting us up (and putting up with us) at Club Bubble. And to all our friends who show up all the time -- you know we love you!
Next up – THE SUNSET HOUSE in Peekskill on November
16th. Every third Friday of every month - we’re there, so you be there. There, there…Then, get your ghoul on and go see The Scared Stiffs (featuring LGC’s own Otto Wino) Saturday October 27 at the spookiest Stompfest of all – Frankenstein’s Fortress in Stanfordville, NY.
NOTE: New photos up from the October 5th Sunset House and October 13th Seany B's shows.
RUMOR OF THE WEEK – The LifeSize Gorgeous Cocktails crack Connecticut for the first time when they (allegedly) might appear at Hot Shots in Newtown on December 7th -- a day that doesn’t necessarily need any extra infamy, but we’ll be more than glad to provide it.
Booze? Music? Birthdays?
No reason to skip the orgy of unearthly delights happening this Saturday at Seany B’s up in Millbrook. It’s Chris’ b-day and he’s Scared Stiff with excitement! There’s gonna be great tunes and tasty brew flowing all night long.... We even hear there’s gonna be midget-juggling bears on unicycles with a wolverine shaving contest happening later in the evening. Winner gets to keep Chris chained to the radiator in their basement for a year! (Don’t worry -- he eats very little: just keep his water bowl filled with beer.)But come early! The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails are doing their thing at 8ish – a one-set sex assault on your senses before releasing the stage to the other amazing bands for sloppy seconds and thirds. Bring wetnaps!
Historic Photos
10/03/07 00:41 Filed in: Photos | Performance
Well, they're photos and they document a moment in history. Can't argue with those facts.
To start off, if you forget to attend Friday's gig (October 5) at the Sunset House (137 N. Water St., Peekskill, NY), here's who's coming after you:
He's a bachelor, a member of the Valvoline tribe of Tireironlandia, and was voted most likely to impale. Notice in the background his older brother, Brucie -- aka Floating Tiki Headboy. Between the two, you haven't got a chance. So be there, or be impaled.
Next up, a still from the 1967 classic Roger Corman film, Gidget Meets the Tikimen, featuring cult fave, Otto and the Tikimen (of the classic Top 40 hit, "Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Ticky Tacky").
This is from the famous scene where Otto and his posse threaten Gidget, ultimately falling into each other's arms (Otto and Gidget, not the posse). (You know, the one where the notorious hickey close-up never made it into the final edit of the film?)
And now it's our own Harvè as "Dr. Bangwaller" in the 1959 Cold War paranoiac horror-scifi thriller, Tikihead from the Puffy Clouds. This is from the renowned scene where "Dr. Bangwaller" calculates the sun's azimuth divided by the earth's diameter and mumbles "Pies are squared," somehow determining the optimal escape route for co-stars Peter Graves and Barbara Steele ("Dr. Bangwaller" is subsequently crushed by the Giant Tikiheads).
Finally, we have the band pose from our appearance opening for Dino Fregosi at the Claddagh (what? no monsters or tiny tribesmen? -- you find 'em where you see 'em):
To start off, if you forget to attend Friday's gig (October 5) at the Sunset House (137 N. Water St., Peekskill, NY), here's who's coming after you:He's a bachelor, a member of the Valvoline tribe of Tireironlandia, and was voted most likely to impale. Notice in the background his older brother, Brucie -- aka Floating Tiki Headboy. Between the two, you haven't got a chance. So be there, or be impaled.
Next up, a still from the 1967 classic Roger Corman film, Gidget Meets the Tikimen, featuring cult fave, Otto and the Tikimen (of the classic Top 40 hit, "Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Ticky Tacky").
This is from the famous scene where Otto and his posse threaten Gidget, ultimately falling into each other's arms (Otto and Gidget, not the posse). (You know, the one where the notorious hickey close-up never made it into the final edit of the film?)
And now it's our own Harvè as "Dr. Bangwaller" in the 1959 Cold War paranoiac horror-scifi thriller, Tikihead from the Puffy Clouds. This is from the renowned scene where "Dr. Bangwaller" calculates the sun's azimuth divided by the earth's diameter and mumbles "Pies are squared," somehow determining the optimal escape route for co-stars Peter Graves and Barbara Steele ("Dr. Bangwaller" is subsequently crushed by the Giant Tikiheads).Finally, we have the band pose from our appearance opening for Dino Fregosi at the Claddagh (what? no monsters or tiny tribesmen? -- you find 'em where you see 'em):
Ears ringing... livers screaming... people buzzing...
Done -- a three-gig weekend. Over and out.
The Fallen Biker Benefit was cool. Thanks to Jason Gisser for the impeccable sound and a Few Good Men MC for being great hosts and for not beating us to death with pool cues.
The Dino Fregosi Experience was everything an out-of-control, decadent excuse for rock 'n’ roll excess should be. What happened at the Claddagh stays at the Claddagh. Special thanks to Chris Laubis from The Scared Stiffs for making it all happen. If anybody found our bag full of t-shirts, let us know.
Sunday’s Mahopac Gazebo gig was very... bright. Daytime’s a bitch, but all had a good time. Hair-of-the-dog-stuck-to-some-cotton-candy is the best way to describe it. Shout outs to Scooby-Doo, for the sexy-as-you-can-imagine stripper routine during whatever song we were playing.
See you all at The Sunset House this Friday October 5th and then in Millbrook at Seany B's 101 on the 13th. That appears for the moment to be the last one for October, as we take some time to learn some new songs and replenish out liquor supplies.
Requests? Drop us a line.
The Fallen Biker Benefit was cool. Thanks to Jason Gisser for the impeccable sound and a Few Good Men MC for being great hosts and for not beating us to death with pool cues.
The Dino Fregosi Experience was everything an out-of-control, decadent excuse for rock 'n’ roll excess should be. What happened at the Claddagh stays at the Claddagh. Special thanks to Chris Laubis from The Scared Stiffs for making it all happen. If anybody found our bag full of t-shirts, let us know.
Sunday’s Mahopac Gazebo gig was very... bright. Daytime’s a bitch, but all had a good time. Hair-of-the-dog-stuck-to-some-cotton-candy is the best way to describe it. Shout outs to Scooby-Doo, for the sexy-as-you-can-imagine stripper routine during whatever song we were playing.
See you all at The Sunset House this Friday October 5th and then in Millbrook at Seany B's 101 on the 13th. That appears for the moment to be the last one for October, as we take some time to learn some new songs and replenish out liquor supplies.
Requests? Drop us a line.
A Regular Appearance AND the Metamucil Puzzle Winner!
Tidbits were dropped, but only one took the line. The "Metamucil" entry contained hints to our own big catch: The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails has been asked to perform the third Friday of each month (thus the "Metamucil" and "regularity" reference) at the Sunset House (didja notice the photo of the "House at Sunset"?).
The winner of our unannounced contest is a Mr. or Ms. S. Rarfell of Putnam Valley. Congrats to the winner of a solo lapdance from our own "Foxy" Roxy (she of the very beautiful lips and teeth)! May you two find bliss -- or your ways to our monthly gig at the Sunset House, at least!
The winner of our unannounced contest is a Mr. or Ms. S. Rarfell of Putnam Valley. Congrats to the winner of a solo lapdance from our own "Foxy" Roxy (she of the very beautiful lips and teeth)! May you two find bliss -- or your ways to our monthly gig at the Sunset House, at least!
Three Gigs in 24 hours!
Let the binge begin!
September 29, 6:30 pm
Benefit for Fallen Bikers
Eagle's Hall, Ossining, NY
7 Old Albany Post Rd
September 29, 9:30 pm-ish
The Claddagh Bar & Grill, Mahopac, NY
925 Route 6
(914) 734-4192
September 30, 1:30 pm
Mahopac Chamber Community Park
Downtown Mahopac
Route 6N and Sycamore Rd
Yowzah!
September 29, 6:30 pm
Benefit for Fallen Bikers
Eagle's Hall, Ossining, NY
7 Old Albany Post Rd
September 29, 9:30 pm-ish
The Claddagh Bar & Grill, Mahopac, NY
925 Route 6
(914) 734-4192
September 30, 1:30 pm
Mahopac Chamber Community Park
Downtown Mahopac
Route 6N and Sycamore Rd
Yowzah!
Holy Metamucil, Batman!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09/27/07 01:14 Filed in: Website | Maintenance
Yes, things got broken. With a reorganization of the site, some of the relative links were relatively un-linked. I think I've caught them all, but if you find anything askew let us know by clicking the "Contact the Management" link at the bottom of the page. In the meantime, vid the tantalizing entry above, to be fleshed out as soon as details are fleshed out.....
Beyond Sunset
A big thanks to everyone who dragged their collective ass down to The Sunset House in Peekskill Friday night. A most memorable night to say the least! As if booty-shakin’ babes dancing on wobbly tables wasn’t enough, a surprise special guest appearance by the legendary local singer/ frontman/madman, Dino Fregosi, took it to the next level, which could best be described as total reckless chaotic abandon!
The end of the night saw Dino, Roxy, Stewed and the delicious Plushie Lush sharing a mic with The Scared Stiff's bass-thumping ghoul-gone-wild Chris Laubis before the whole thing basically burst into flames.
Dino had so much fun that he invited LGC to open up for his ever-popular Dino and the Missiles next Saturday night (9/29) at The Claddagh in Mahopac at 10.For those following along, that’s three gigs in 24 hours this upcoming weekend for the Cocktails, beginning with The Fallen Biker Benefit at 6:30 at Eagle's Hall (7 Old Albany Post Rd, Ossining, NY) and winding up at the gazebo in Mahopac Chamber Community Park (Corner of Routes 6 and 6N, Downtown Mahopac) at 1:30 pm. Hope to see you at one or all of ‘em. We’ll be the ones on stage -- with the guitars, drums and stuff...
On a separate note - we raise and drain our glasses to the meanest pianist we know, Harvé Bangwaller, who not only survived his first LGC gig, but made it sing. Thanks, Harvé -- we may even reconsider not posting those embarrassing post-gig cheesecake shots of you, too. Here You Come Again
09/12/07 00:29 Filed in: Performance | Benefit
We have been invited to participate in a Benefit for Fallen Bikers to be held on September 29 at the Eagle's Hall in Ossining, NY (yes, the same Ossining that contains the notorious Sing Sing prison). We're sharing the bill with Blue Mozart, a phenomenal hard-driving, rockin' blues band from up around these parts.
Details will follow, so all of this is approximate, but it seems the evening will kick off at 5:00 pm, and we'll begin kicking ass at 6:30.
Eagles Hall, 7 Old Albany Post Rd., Ossining, NY. This funky little dance space is a 100-year-old, former church that has been a setting in Hollywood productions. It features a wooded dance floor, air-conditioning, open bar, and plenty of safe, free parking. The location is moments from Ossining and Croton-Harmon train stations.
Directions:
From Taconic State Pkwy., take Rt. 134 exit west for 3 miles to right at light on Rt. 9A North, then make 3rd right at large Shady Farm Road Sign (also smaller sign for General Electric) after approx. 1 mile. After taking exit, turn left on Old Albany Post Rd., and the club is 0.1 mile on right.
From Rt. 9 (between Ossining and Croton-on-Hudson), turn on Old Albany Post Rd. across from St. Augustine's Church and School. The turn is just south of Rt. 9 and 9A split. If you are heading North it's a right before the light; heading South it's a left at the light. After the turn, the hall is approx. 0.2 miles on left.
Details will follow, so all of this is approximate, but it seems the evening will kick off at 5:00 pm, and we'll begin kicking ass at 6:30.
Eagles Hall, 7 Old Albany Post Rd., Ossining, NY. This funky little dance space is a 100-year-old, former church that has been a setting in Hollywood productions. It features a wooded dance floor, air-conditioning, open bar, and plenty of safe, free parking. The location is moments from Ossining and Croton-Harmon train stations.
Directions:
From Taconic State Pkwy., take Rt. 134 exit west for 3 miles to right at light on Rt. 9A North, then make 3rd right at large Shady Farm Road Sign (also smaller sign for General Electric) after approx. 1 mile. After taking exit, turn left on Old Albany Post Rd., and the club is 0.1 mile on right.
From Rt. 9 (between Ossining and Croton-on-Hudson), turn on Old Albany Post Rd. across from St. Augustine's Church and School. The turn is just south of Rt. 9 and 9A split. If you are heading North it's a right before the light; heading South it's a left at the light. After the turn, the hall is approx. 0.2 miles on left.
Rainy Day Band (and a new poster!)
Here's a photo from the big (not-)after party subsequent to the rain-out at Crystal. (It features the earliest known photo of Harvé with the band.)
The Rainy Day Band
Otto, Stewed, St. Pauli, Roxy, and Harvé
In their depression, The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails turn to drink.
(As if they needed the excuse...)
And on a happier note...
Here's the poster for the Sunset House show!
The Sweet Spot
Ahhh, the tink, tink, tinkle of the cubes is sweet music to our ears, the perfect percussive element to compliment The Venture’s “Diamondhead” on the hi-fi. The dog daze nights of summer are back and Likker the dog is dozing mightily by the open screen door. It’s the quiet before the storm... the storm being The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails debut gig at the Sunset House in Peekskill on Friday September 21st. Not to be confused of course with the storm that nearly blew us off the boat at Crystal Bay last month. Sorry again to those who showed post-deluge to find us gone, but electrocution was not on our calendar that day.
We’ll make it up to you if it’s the last goddamn thing we do! Drop by the Sunset House (a delicious bar of ill repute) on September 21st at 137 N. Water St. and raise your glasses to help us ring in whatever needs to be rung. We’ll be ones on stage wearing the guitars and stuff. Now, where’s my refill?
We’ll make it up to you if it’s the last goddamn thing we do! Drop by the Sunset House (a delicious bar of ill repute) on September 21st at 137 N. Water St. and raise your glasses to help us ring in whatever needs to be rung. We’ll be ones on stage wearing the guitars and stuff. Now, where’s my refill?
Another gig!
08/23/07 08:01 Filed in: Performance
See? I Tole You!
08/10/07 02:28 Filed in: Performance
We've got another booking! On September 21st we'll be playing at the Sunset House, 137 North Water St in Peekskill, NY! Usual 10 p.m. start. Click the map for directions.
We'll also be performing on September 30 on the gazebo in Lake Mahopac during the big Whatchamacallit Festival. Start time approximately 1:30 p.m. Details to follow when someone 'splains it to me better. Bring the kids! (We'll try not to scare them too much....)
We'll also be performing on September 30 on the gazebo in Lake Mahopac during the big Whatchamacallit Festival. Start time approximately 1:30 p.m. Details to follow when someone 'splains it to me better. Bring the kids! (We'll try not to scare them too much....)
Rainy Days and Mondays....
08/04/07 02:04 Filed in: Performance
Sadly, Friday night's performance at Crystal Bay was cancelled due to inclement weather. A storm blew in as we were setting up and soaked the boat. And when they closed the bar...!
We apologize to our friends and fans and hope to have something new lined up soon!
We apologize to our friends and fans and hope to have something new lined up soon!