Transgression
DRUNK. BLIND.
Let’s start with DRUNK.
Is alcohol an aphrodisiac? To answer that you also have to ask yourselves the burning questions: Do chickens have lips? Do bears shit in the woods? You bet your bear ass, it is! It loosens the lips and tongue -- two key components in the exotic, intoxicating dance routine known to Nat Geo fans as “mating.” It has been observed by scientists and barflies alike that two people with synergistic levels of inebriation (and a Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails sexy show soundtrack) will achieve libation-induced sexual liberation within a matter of three songs into any given LGC set list.
However, as the Dead Kennedy’s so thoughtfully warned us, it is possible to go overboard on the stuff and wind up with your timber pointing south -- or if you’re a woman, occasionally passed out on the men’s room floor. So, to ensure that your wood points north, may we suggest that you maintain safe levels of looseness next Friday, March 25th when the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails once again descend upon the Northwood Inn in Mahopac and fling their fantastic pheromones all over the joint. No protection needed. Dance dangerously!
Now to BLIND.
Which fiery rebel-rouser had us all seeing red when she introduced a certain LGC face to a piece of broken glass? Sources say she’s done some crazy shit before, but this time...
Is alcohol an aphrodisiac? To answer that you also have to ask yourselves the burning questions: Do chickens have lips? Do bears shit in the woods? You bet your bear ass, it is! It loosens the lips and tongue -- two key components in the exotic, intoxicating dance routine known to Nat Geo fans as “mating.” It has been observed by scientists and barflies alike that two people with synergistic levels of inebriation (and a Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails sexy show soundtrack) will achieve libation-induced sexual liberation within a matter of three songs into any given LGC set list.
However, as the Dead Kennedy’s so thoughtfully warned us, it is possible to go overboard on the stuff and wind up with your timber pointing south -- or if you’re a woman, occasionally passed out on the men’s room floor. So, to ensure that your wood points north, may we suggest that you maintain safe levels of looseness next Friday, March 25th when the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails once again descend upon the Northwood Inn in Mahopac and fling their fantastic pheromones all over the joint. No protection needed. Dance dangerously!Now to BLIND.
Which fiery rebel-rouser had us all seeing red when she introduced a certain LGC face to a piece of broken glass? Sources say she’s done some crazy shit before, but this time...
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In the trenches with The LGC
11/11/09 23:06 Filed in: Chit Chat
Stewed Da Baker
If you’re going DUI, you might as well DIY in style — with a 383 six pak powered, 500 horse ’66 Dodge Charger boasting a worked 727 torque flite trans and a 3:91 posi rear. (Plenty of grunt to blow up any skirt!) Here’s Stewed gearing his ride up for Otto’s Birthday Bash at The Sunset House in Peekskill on Saturday, August 23rd, featuring the steamy return of our very own Goddesses of Gyration: The Luscious Lushes.
ALSO a rare rumored-to-be-true reemergence of those Bad Boys of the Boneyard — The Scared Stiffs!
Be there or beware!